Monday, June 11, 2007

Sneezing, sewing and stewing

One advantage to being holed away indoors for most of this weekend trying to avoid the pollen was that I got some sewing done. I had a go at the Lotta Jansdotter Everyday Tote, using denim and some Alexander Henry fabric Tasha sent me ages ago.

I am fairly pleased with it, but I wish I had listened to Caroline's advice and added some interfacing to the denim to make it a touch stiffer.

I think iteration 2 will also involve some shopping for bag bottom mesh and possibly doing slightly wider straps. They seem to pull the top of the bag out of shape a little bit as they are.

All this activity is a ruse to distract myself from the fact that I'm feeling decidedly stressed at the thought of Wednesday. We have the first appointment for Mark with the community pediatrician. I hope this is the beginning of finding out whether or not he has an Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

I have told him that he is helping the doctors to understand how children's minds work. Not so far from the truth - I haven't known what else to say. I just want to make it through without crying. It just takes some professional to be sympathetic and understanding and I'm a blubbering mess. Most unlike me and not very helpful. Anyone know where to get hold of some 'calm and in control' elixir?

28 comments:

raspberry said...

What I'm going to say will probably not help, but here goes!
Don't worry!!! The doctor, or person doing the assessment will be really nice, and be very kind to both you and Mark. They will probably spend quite a long time just talking to Mark, and finding out what may seem quite boring info, he will probably have to do some drawings as well, and that will be it for the first time :)
This is of course all based on mine and Edwards experiences, you know where I am, drop me a mail, and we can have a chat! Just don't worry, because it isn't the start of something horrible, it should be the start of something good, whatever the outcome :)

sarah said...

I don't know what to say about your son, other than, breathe. Sometimes that's all it takes.

On a lighter note, its good to see someone try out that bag. I was thinking it might be my next project. Its good to know about the interfacing and mesh and such. I wonder if plastic canvas would work as a stabilizer for the bottom?

Jo said...

I have discovered that it is hard to drink and cry at the same time, so if I'm going into a situation that I think might make me weepy I take a small bottle of water. It's someting I've told friends and when I saw a friend at her Father's funeral walk up to the front to give an address holding a little bottle of water I found myself sobbing at the shared secret as much as the situation.
Hope your meeting goes as smoothly as possible

kirsten said...

i was just thinking of you the other day and wondering if you'd had your son's appt yet.

good luck - my best advice is that writing down all you can think of about him - which i believe i told you earlier. that way you don't have to tell the dr - he can read it himself (herself?) and you won't get flustered into forgetting some small detail that might make a difference.
best of luck - please keep us posted! :)

Megan said...

First of all, you're doing a great job getting all the information you can about Mark so you can make the best decisions for him.

Second of all, sneezes - yuck.

Third of all, really cute bag. I keep meaning to make myself one too. I also keep meaning to wake up one morning and have everything in my world perfect, but that has happened yet either.

Alicia A. said...

Great bag and good luck.

I have no good advice (I'm a crier myself too) but I'm thinking about you guys.

capello said...

you know, getting a label sucks. but it opens up a world of help and possibilities.

just tell the doctors everything :sigh:: i'm thinking of you.

kirsty said...

Like lots of us here, I've ben in a similar situation with my son. I have no solution for the tears - the first time I sobbed my way through an entire day of tests going from on hospital department to the next - but you can be confident that every professional you meet has had a thousand other mothers sitting there with boogies running down their top lips! And listen to Capello, she's right.
We'll all be thinking of you (take tissues).

Penny said...

Good luck for Wednesday. I don't have any useful advice but I've known a couple of boys with aspergers. Also the pediatrician will be used to mums in a frazzled state.

Sasha said...

Hi Ali. I have had my share of crying at the doctor over stuff with my kids, so no real advice on how not to. I do hope the doctor is understanding regardless of how you react. And I hope you don't get upset with yourself if you get upset. But I do hope that the appointment goes the way you'd like.

You could always try some Rescue Remedy or a stress relieving homeopathic if that appeals to you.

Take care of yourself, you'll get through it.

Megan said...

Good luck on Wednesday. If it helps, I'll wish for you a doctor who is completely great and understanding with Mark, but a total dork in talking to the adult population. Would that help with the crying? :) I know what you mean, though, crying seems to add just one more layer to the situation feeling out of your control.

Your explanation to Mark about why this is all happening is a great one. We, too, have some tests coming up and I've been wondering how to explain it all. If you don't mind, I think I'll steal your answer. That's a great way to do it and my son loves to help other people out, so it's a good fit!

Candlestring said...

Ali, we are so alike that way (crying when we're not that type). I can't explain it - I don't cry when other moms are nice to me, just when the doctor says something especially kind. At my post-partum checkup a few weeks ago I was talking with my doctor about if this would be my last baby and he said, "I'll bet that will be a very difficult decision for you." He said it in such a kind and understanding way, I just about couldn't talk after that - I was trying so hard not to blubber. But you know, as long as you have a handkerchief handy why not just go ahead and cry? I don't know why we always try to act so tough. I'm sure the doctor won't think any less of you for having feelings!

And I ditto Kirsten's advice about making a list. It is so much easier to have things written down rather than try to remember questions. And take paper and pen to write down the answers to your questions, too.
Prayers from Montana with a big dose of "calm and in control",
Candlestring

June said...

I will think good thoughts for a positive outcome for your son's pediatrician visit. I know your heart hurts over this and you feel helpless. My heart about broke going through a similar process with my daughter--turned out she had a stroke and resultant cerebral palsy. She's now a grown happily married woman with a university degre. I am so proud of her as I am sure you are of your son.

Your Lotta Jansdotter bag is wonderful and I appreciate your helpful comments about improving the structure. I shall remember them when I get around to that project.

Kate said...

I have no advice, but good luck, I hope you get all the help and information you need.
Wonderful bag!

Soo said...

I love the bag! It's something I've wanted to try but haven't had the time.
Good luck on Wednesday...I'll have my fingers crossed for you!

monica said...

I think it's great how you explained it to him and you'll be fine. YOu're doing this because you love him and you want the best for him... right?

You can always blame the tears oh hayfever.

(rescue remedy. great stuff)

Simmy said...

Ali,

I had no idea you were going down this route - sorry I haven't kept up. Hope all goes well on Wednesday - why don't you all take Rescue Remedy before you go in.

Lovely bag by the way..........

Allison said...

Good luck for Wednesday. Everyone has given you such good advice. I don't actually have any advice to offer, but just wanted to offer up some good wishes as well.

Zoe said...

Wow, very impressed. You're just zipping through those patterns! I'm still deciding on what fabric to use on the hat!!!

i'll be thinking of you tomorrow x

cristina said...

the bag is beautiful & the appointment, tough.
i used to work with children with autism doing advocacy work. it's not the end of the world, i promise. with the right therapy, a child with austism can flourish just as a vibrantly as a normally developing child can. i understand though how this can be really tough.

nuttnbunny said...

Ali - Let those tears fall.

I read this great article in Scientific America about how the chemical composition of your tears differs when you cry for different reasons. It really is something you need to "flush out".

Sending you and little man all good vibes.

Di said...

The bag is great!!

I hope that everything goes well on Wednesday! I am sure that the doctor will be very kind and used to working with children. I am hoping for a good outcome!!

kat said...

oh I know what you mean. I'm not a big crier usually, but once someone shows me some sympathy, it all goes out the window! I'll be thinking about you and your son. You will feel a 100% better with some information.
Kirsten's right, make a list, document stuff :) best wishes.

dee said...

Oh, good luck on Wednesday.
You're such a good mommy, all will be well with a little love and help from others... the first visit is always the hardest.

My daughter had some serious OCD issues (it runs on my husbands side) but imagining the worst made it worse. (many tearful mornings getting ready for preschool) After going through a doctor, I felt better and she was less stressed too. Positive thinking really did help too.

weirdbunny said...

Praying all goes well for you and your son at the assesment .... - love Julia x

julie said...

Good luck later today Ali, I'll be thinking of you, lots. I know how nerve wracking and frightening it can be but it will be fine and I'm sure you'll look back on it as a positive step, whatever the outcome.

Crabby Amy said...

Hope your Wed. appt. goes well with Mark (and for you too!!) Most of the time (now) I can get through Matthew's appt.'s without tears from myself but the first couple of times took some serious effort. Although that said, I was just at my own doctor appt. on Monday and hadn't explained to her until then about Matthew's aspergers and I ended up in tears! Go figure! Lots of positve thoughts going your way!! You'll do fine, :)

Amy said...

Thinking of you. I am postive you wouldn't be the first nor the last person to cry in that doctor's office so let er rip. Though on the calming elixir front I can attest to the calming power of Bach's Flower essence Rescue Remedy. Claire (Greenjewels) recommended it to me when I was at the height of my anxiety attacks and it is a gentle help.