Sooz wrote a post a few weeks back that really resonated with me. If you missed it, I urge you to go and read the original. She was saying she thought children were born pretty much whole, with personalities, preferences, desires and dislikes. They have strengths, they have weaknesses. They have imperfections. And she felt that children should essentially be left alone to become who they are, unencumbered by the pressures and expectations of their parents and their community to be things they are not.
I can’t think of a better way to sum up my feelings at the end of this grueling assessment process. My beautiful son is exactly the same person he was before this began and my challenges as a parent remain. I may have a couple of additional tactics in my maternal toolkit and a few new phrases to describe who he is, but fundamentally nothing has altered.
It feels really good to have the reins back again.
19 comments:
He is gorgeous and you're clearly a great mum. Sending love and hugs and well done for getting through it.
Hi Ali!!! I couldn't agree more with the quote you referenced... I think unfortunately in this day and age we are too quick to "label" something different than what is "normal" (WHAT IS NORMAL???)... I'm glad you are feeling better and your little man is that much the better for having such a wonderful Mommie!
Lala :o)
Yay for getting through a tough week and still coming out of it in a positive way! I actually find that very inspiring and some days I need that! ;) Lovely picture by the way....you are obviously doing a wonderful job with him.
pat on the back and a big hug ali. you're little munchkins look so happy to me and i think that's really the main thing isn't it.
Brilliantly said, Ali :)
Perfectly put Ali. It's good to hear that you've come through a tough ordeal to emerge empowered and with a clear head - no small achievement for sure! Well done xxx
Yes Ali. I read that post too...and I pretty much agree. I'm glad you made it through the week. This parenting thing is rough, huh? Oy. I can relate.
love to ya. :)
well said.
And if possible there's even more love, right?
Well exactly. Exactly.
And what a beautiful child he is!
Julia x
So glad to be there beside you, if only metaphorically, helping you find words and ways of getting through another of the parenthood challenges. And so glad for Mark that he has you, who can so easily embrace him, without words and labels, or with words and labels. Whatever. Much peace to you both.
That sounds like a very wise way of looking at things and I'm glad that you're feeling a bit better and gaining some perspective/balance on the whole ordeal. Your kiddo is so lucky to have such a flexible, understanding, and go-with-the-flow mama.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I applaud your ability to take a breath, think about the challenges you faced and will face in future, and find new ways to meet those challenges. You have a beautiful son and he has such a fantastic mother in you.
I'm glad you are getting through it. You are right about letting them be who they are meant to be - parents can put so much pressure on their children and can do so much damage.
You sound like you are doing a great job - and he is a little cutie!
Cathy X
This poem by Khalil Gibran seemed relevant.
That bad back sounds like you've been bent around quite a bit of late, but it's simply to get those arrows flying a bit better...
I have two children aged 17 and 15. If I look back to their personalities when they were born I can see the people that they have become. But it has taken me all that time to understand that and adjust to it. I am now able to stand back and allow them to be the people that they have always been. I wish that I had known that years ago.
Really nicely written. I am glad you are felling so positive - have a lovely weekend.
what a cute cheeky monkey.
this post makes me smile so much.
my daughter's personality drives me insane at times and we do not know where she gets her manic traits from...i guess she doesn't get them from anyone. they are just her, and that is why I love her.
big smiles Ali.
Glad to hear like you've got control of the reins once again - that will no doubt be comforting to all involved. As Bea gets older I am struggling with this issue more and more -- as society expects her to... fill in the blank -- be in school, like cartoons, dress up for Halloween, etc. etc. To each their own, even at age 3.5 right?
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